After seeing a post about honoring those that we've lost due to miscarriage etc. I decided the least I could do in your memory is dedicate a letter to you and your impact on my life.
I realized I haven't addressed your importance in my life verbally. I replay the emotions in my head often and think of you every time I see your sister. Finding out you were growing in my belly was quite a shock but it was an extremely happy moment and I always want you to know you were wanted.
I loved you immediately. Weeks later I found out I wasn't producing the right hormones. Why was my body failing me? Did this mean I'd never know the joy of having a child? And then came the dreaded "M" word. I blamed my body for not keeping you safe and thriving. I was terrified that it might happen again someday in the future. You taught me a different kind of loss.
How do you say goodbye to someone you never even got to meet? How do you validate all of those emotions? Today I have found peace in the heartache. I know you stand with our almighty God and that you are safe and healthy. And I cannot wait to meet you and kiss your perfect face.
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